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FLASH ABC
Administrator (NYC Fat Cap)

USA
7600 Posts

Posted - 10/12/2007 :  11:51:11 AM  Show Profile  Visit FLASH ABC's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Back in the days of steam ships, only rich white
people sailed at Sea. One day while sailing,
something suddenly happened to the ship and it was
about to sink. Terrified, the white folks aboard
didn't know what to do. Someone suggested that they
do what Negro's do ... "Pray".

Unfortunately, no one knew what to say. So they
called Thomas, a black cook on the ship an asked him
to pray. Thomas agreed and came up on the deck to
pray. He started like this:

Lawd one day I was hongry, I went to a restarunt to
git me sumpin' to eat! ... An da sign said "FOR WHITES
ONLY". So I went to da water fountin to git me some
water and da sign said "FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY". Den
Lawd, I went to da toilet room and da sign said "FOR
WHITE FOLKS ONLY". So Lawd Almightee...when dis hear
big ol' boat sanks...let it be "FOR WHITE FOLKS ONLY".


In yo name I pray...AMEN


http://projectlogan.tumblr.com/

Irony
Gold Dot

USA
81 Posts

Posted - 11/01/2007 :  9:25:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
LOL
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julio
Gold Dot

USA
82 Posts

Posted - 11/02/2007 :  09:50:38 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
AMEN
yea yea
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FLASH ABC
Administrator (NYC Fat Cap)

USA
7600 Posts

Posted - 11/02/2007 :  12:47:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit FLASH ABC's Homepage  Reply with Quote
The sick Mexican husband was lying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled tamales. He dearly loved tamales more than anything else in the world, especially his caring wife Chita's tamales. With every last bit of the energy left in his mind and body, the terminally ill husband pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. Here, his wife was removing the fresh batch of tamales from the stove top. As he reached for one of the freshly made tamales, his Corazon, Chita, smacked him in the back of the head with a wooden spoon:
"Leave them alone, pendejo!" They're for your funeral!"

http://projectlogan.tumblr.com/
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MIME
Banana Skinny

Uzbekistan
262 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2007 :  1:55:52 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
There was this Spanish guy, this Korean guy and this Russian guy all working for the same construction company.

At the beginning of the day the boss comes out and says to the Spanish guy, "You're in charge of the cement."
Then he said to the Russian guy, "You're in charge of the dirt."
Then he said to the Korean guy, "You're in charge of the supplies."
Then he said, "I'm gonna be back at the end of the day to check on your work. It better be good or you're fired." So they all go off to go get their work done.
At the end of the day, the boss comes back to check on their work. He looks at the big pile of cement and goes, "Good work," to the Spanish guy.
Then he looks at the big pile of dirt and says, "Good work," to the Russian guy.
Then he couldn't find the Korean guy so he asks, "Where the heck is the Korean guy?"
All of a sudden, the Korean guy jumps out from behind the big pile of dirt and yells, " SUPPLIES!"


This message is approved by: President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
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MIME
Banana Skinny

Uzbekistan
262 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2007 :  2:04:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but she listens in horror as one of the men says the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, dey come together. I come again. Two asses, dey come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a more."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly, "in this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man, "Imma just tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."


This message is approved by: President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho.
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Irony
Gold Dot

USA
81 Posts

Posted - 11/03/2007 :  7:44:38 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Funny
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SEEN-ABC
Moderator

USA
3900 Posts

Posted - 12/25/2008 :  11:07:10 AM  Show Profile  Visit SEEN-ABC's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Hey Merry Christmas to u all & ur families!

"IT TAKES COURAGE & IMAGINATION TO SET NEW DESIGN TRENDS-TO CREATE THE TRENDS ONESELF RATHER THAN FOLLOWING THE FLOW!"
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FLASH ABC
Administrator (NYC Fat Cap)

USA
7600 Posts

Posted - 11/02/2009 :  1:17:12 PM  Show Profile  Visit FLASH ABC's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Cowboy rules for:

Arizona, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado, New Mexico, Wyoming,
Montana, Utah, Idaho, Nebraska and the rest of the Wild West are as
follows:

1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
FLASHES REPSONSE: AND SO DO YOU IN A COWBOY HAT

2. Turn your cap right, your head ain't crooked.

FLASHES REPSONSE: BUT YOUR MOUTH IS BECAUSE YOU WONT TALK ENGLISH. AINT IS NOT A WORD THE WAY YOU USE IT.

3. Let's get this straight: it's called a 'gravel road.' I drive a
pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're
gonna get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

FLASHES REPSONSE: OH PLEASE HAVENT YOU HEARD OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY. ITS CALLED PAVEMENT THEY INVENTED IT 20 YEARS AGO.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell like cattle. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-10 & I-40 go east and west,I-17 & I-15 goes north and south. Pick one and go.


FLASHES REPSONSE:
I DONT MIND THE SMELL OF CATTLE ON CATTLE JUST CATTLE ON HUMAN IS SOMETHING I NEVER UNDERSTAND.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 Combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

FLASHES REPSONSE:
BECAUSE YOU CANT AFFORD IT THE REST OF THE YEAR.


6. Every person in the Wild West waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

FLASHES REPSONSE:
WE DO YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND I WAVE WITH MY MIDDLE FINGER.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of geese/pheasants/ducks/doves
are comin' in during a hunt, we WILL shoot it outta your hand. You
better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.


FLASHES REPSONSE:
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I WONT SHOOT BACK


8. Yeah. We eat trout, salmon, deer and elk. You really want sushi and caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

FLASHES REPSONSE:
THATS WHERE YOU SISTER WORKS RIGHT???



9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Sahis little brown one. ay to the first of November.

FLASHES REPSONSE:
AND ON NOVEMBER 3 WE GET ALL THE HUNTING ACCIDENTS IN THE NEWSPAPER .


10. We open doors for women. That's applied to all women, regardless of age.

AND WE SHOW UP WHEN YOUR IN THE WOODS DOING EACH OTHER.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak, or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham and turkey.

FLASHES REPSONSE:
AND YOU WONDER WHY YOUR COLON IS ALL CLOGGED UP BY 50.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,
vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup!
Oh, yeah ... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff
you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

FLASHES REPSONSE: AND YOU USE A SPOON FOR EVERYTHING

13. You bring 'Coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

FLASHES REPSONSE:
OH PLEASE IF YOUR WILLING TO STICK YOUR HAND UP A COWS ASS IF YOUR WILLING TO GET THE SPREM OFF A BULL YOUR STICKING SOMTHING IN YOUR VIENS

14. College and high school football is as important here as the Giants,the Yankees, the Mets, the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

FLASHES REPSONSE:
AND IF JIMMY DISREPECTS ME BY DROPPING THE BALL IM GONNA SKIN HIM.
YES WE SEEN FRIDAY NITES.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it
spooks the fish.

FLASHES REPSONSE: AND THATS WERE THEY CLEAN THERE FEET.

16. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

FLASHES REPSONSE:
OMG KENYE WEST WAS RIGHT IM NOT LISTEN TO ANYONE THAT AINT DIED WITHIN THE LAST DECADE. ESPICALLY ANYONE NAME HANK CONWAY OR EARL.


A true Westerner will send this to at least 10 others and a few new
friends that probably won't get it, but we're friendly so we share in
hopes you can begin to understand what a real life is all about!!!

FLASHES REPSONSE:
YOU STICK TO HUMPING YOUR COWS WE WILL STICK TO DRIVING OUR LEXUS.

http://projectlogan.tumblr.com/
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KOOLAIDE KILLA
Pink Dot

Vatican City
2023 Posts

Posted - 11/18/2009 :  12:26:34 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
hope these jokes don't get me banned lol



A daughter asks her dad, "Dad can I borrow your car?". The Dad replies, "Sure, if you suck my d!ck". So the daughter starts sucking the Dad's HIS BIG PEE PEE, but spits it out and says, "Eeeew, your his pee pee taste like sh!t!". "OOOh that's right I let your brother borrow the car".

Why is there no mexican olympic team?
All the spics who can run, jump or swim are in the U.S.!

So this gangster dude goes to prison for his first bid.
Gets paired up with a big meet the Focker'sin' black dude.
Black dude starts telling the fresh fish the ropes.
Then axes him you wanna be the husband or the wife.
Fish says the husband. (obviously)
Black dude says well get down on your knees and suck your wifes d!ck.




s3 Skwad CISA Tribe TPA Familia....... Prince Omen74
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REEM
Orange Dot

USA
660 Posts

Posted - 11/18/2009 :  07:03:18 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
HOLY meet the Focker's OMEN. YOU AVAILABLE FOR KIDS PARTY'S? A GUY GOES TO A HOOKER AND SHE ASK'S HIM WHAT HE WANTS. HE SAYS HE WANTS TO EAT HER OUT. THEY GO IN THE ALLEY AND HE EATS HER OUT. HE IS SPITTING OUT CARROTS, PEAS, POTATOS AND CHEWED UP MEAT FROM IN HER. HE GOES.."HEY LADY!! WHAT ARE YOU SICK??" SHE GOES ..."I'M NOT BUT THE GUY BEFORE YOU WAS" PEACE...MAD CREW
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KOOLAIDE KILLA
Pink Dot

Vatican City
2023 Posts

Posted - 11/19/2009 :  08:57:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by REEM

HOLY meet the Focker's OMEN. YOU AVAILABLE FOR KIDS PARTY'S? A GUY GOES TO A HOOKER AND SHE ASK'S HIM WHAT HE WANTS. HE SAYS HE WANTS TO EAT HER OUT. THEY GO IN THE ALLEY AND HE EATS HER OUT. HE IS SPITTING OUT CARROTS, PEAS, POTATOS AND CHEWED UP MEAT FROM IN HER. HE GOES.."HEY LADY!! WHAT ARE YOU SICK??" SHE GOES ..."I'M NOT BUT THE GUY BEFORE YOU WAS" PEACE...MAD CREW


damn thats nasty hahaha

s3 Skwad CISA Tribe TPA Familia....... Prince Omen74
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KOOLAIDE KILLA
Pink Dot

Vatican City
2023 Posts

Posted - 11/19/2009 :  09:03:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A guy goes into a hip new whorehouse near Las Vegas, and is asked if he'd like to try the "special room." He says OK, pays up, and soon is shown into a darkend room with only a giant thanksgiving turkey on a table and a jar of mayonaise sitting beside it. Feeling a little ripped off, he nonetheless decides to give it a go and after a generous dose of mayo, starts f^^king the turkey.

The next night he goes back to the whorehouse, and is asked if he'd like to see a special show. He thinks what the h3ll, so pays up and is shown into a small theater like room with about 10 other guys looking through a window at two of the hottest dikes you've ever seen f**k'n up a storm. He turns to the guy next to him and says, "man this is great.", whereupon the guy says, "this is nothing, you should have been here last night. A guy was f**king a turkey!!"----------------bahhh-damm tissssssssssss

s3 Skwad CISA Tribe TPA Familia....... Prince Omen74

Edited by - KOOLAIDE KILLA on 11/19/2009 09:09:45 AM
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REEM
Orange Dot

USA
660 Posts

Posted - 11/19/2009 :  2:30:01 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
HOLY CRAP ITS THE BATTLE OF ARMCHAIR COMICS...2 WOMEN ARE SITTING IN THE ANIMAL HOSPITAL AND 1 GOES TO THE OTHER "WHY ARE YOU HERE?" THE WOMAN RESPONDS "MY CAT IS RIPPING UP THE FURNITURE WITH HIS CLAWS SO I AM HAVING HIM DECLAWED." THE WOMAN ASKS THE OTHER WOMAN.."WHY ARE YOU HERE?" SHE RESPONDS.."EVERYTIME I BEND OVER MY DOG HUMPS ME." THE OTHER WOMAN ASKS.."SO YOU ARE GETTING HIM NEUTERED?"...SHE RESPONDS.."NO!! I AM GETTING HIM DECLAWED TOO"...PEACE...MAD CREW
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KOOLAIDE KILLA
Pink Dot

Vatican City
2023 Posts

Posted - 11/20/2009 :  09:08:34 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
a guy walking down a beach bumps into a girl with no legs and no arms.....
the lady asks the man, can u please f**k me i havent been f**ked in years!!!!!
so the man picks her up stares in her eyes and throws her into the water and says,
"there... now your f**ked!!!"


s3 Skwad CISA Tribe TPA Familia....... Prince Omen74
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GATZ
Blue Dot

USA
703 Posts

Posted - 11/20/2009 :  09:44:05 AM  Show Profile  Visit GATZ's Homepage  Reply with Quote
damn treated

GATZ TIC
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REEM
Orange Dot

USA
660 Posts

Posted - 11/20/2009 :  12:27:23 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A GUY IS WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND A WOMAN IS WALKING TOWARD HIM AND HE NOTICES SOMETHING. HE GOES "HEY LADY, YOU HAVE A TAMPON HANGING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!" AND HER RESPONSE WAS.."JESUS CHRIST!! WHAT DID I DO WITH MY CIGARETTE?!" ...PEACE...MAD CREW
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REEM
Orange Dot

USA
660 Posts

Posted - 11/20/2009 :  12:29:34 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A GUY IS WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND A WOMAN IS WALKING TOWARD HIM AND HE NOTICES SOMETHING. HE GOES "HEY LADY, YOU HAVE A TAMPON HANGING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!" AND HER RESPONSE WAS.."JESUS CHRIST!! WHAT DID I DO WITH MY CIGARETTE?!" ...PEACE...MAD CREW
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KOOLAIDE KILLA
Pink Dot

Vatican City
2023 Posts

Posted - 11/20/2009 :  3:46:22 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by REEM

A GUY IS WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND A WOMAN IS WALKING TOWARD HIM AND HE NOTICES SOMETHING. HE GOES "HEY LADY, YOU HAVE A TAMPON HANGING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!!" AND HER RESPONSE WAS.."JESUS CHRIST!! WHAT DID I DO WITH MY CIGARETTE?!" ...PEACE...MAD CREW


hahaha damn

s3 Skwad CISA Tribe TPA Familia....... Prince Omen74
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REEM
Orange Dot

USA
660 Posts

Posted - 11/21/2009 :  06:41:32 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
OK SINCE WE ARE ON AMPUTEE HUMOR....THE BELL RINGS AT THE WHOREHOUSE AND A WOMAN ANSWERS THE DOOR AND SEE'S A MAN THERE WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS. SHE GOES "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE GONNA DO HERE??" HIS RESPONSE.."I RANG THE BELL DID'NT I??" PEACE...MAD CREW
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REEM
Orange Dot

USA
660 Posts

Posted - 11/21/2009 :  07:09:44 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
OK 1 MORE FOR THE DAY......MAYBE....HOW DO YOU GET A NUN PREGNANT?....DRESS HER UP AS AN ALTER BOY. ...OK IMMA GO TO CHURCH AND BORE THE PREIST AGAIN WITH A CONFESSION FOR THAT. NO JOKE HERE..I WAS IN CONFESSION FOR MY COUSINS WEDDING ONE DAY YEARS AGO..THE PREIST ACTUALLY LOOKED AT HIS WATCH...PEACE...MAD CREW
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